Monday, December 28, 2009
Pain and heartache have been with me for as long as I can remember. Not physical pain, emotional pain. There were times when I thought I would die from it. Too many disappointments and failures piled up over a lifetime. Now I am here in The Place, and something has died. A part of me. Something that defined me in a certain way. Does that death constitute a failure? I'm told it is a natural thing, certainly an expected thing. Why has it been something with which I was not prepared to deal? Too much left unsaid by those who should have told me. Too many circumstances that brought this too early. It has created its own pain and heartache, and along with what was already there, I fell. I think I am probably still falling. Alice says not to worry, that there will be a stopping point. Is real life like dreams? Will I die when I hit the ground?
(Image used in this post is by DarklingWoods at Etsy and is entitled "Down the Rabbit Hole, Falling.")